Memories of the past
by WhiteWinterDragon
Summary: I remember how I refused to believe his death at first. Of course I was eventually forced to accept that he was never coming back, but when I looked into the eyes of that young man... I dared to hope again.


A/N: Ok… I have been plotting this multi-chap fic for quite some time, and I finally decided to start writing ^^ I appreciate it when people review, and I don't mind receiving constructive criticism. Under all circumstances I hope the story will turn out to be an enjoyable read :D!

Disclaimer: No… Just like most other people, I do not own Bleach, and if I did, Toshiro would probably be the main character XD

Characters: Hitsugaya and Matsumoto as usual… And yes this will be HitsuMatsu later on, if you do not like that pairing, you might as well find something else to read ^^ Now you are warned…

Plot Summary: I remember how I refused to believe his death at first. Of course I was eventually forced to accept that he was never coming back, but when I looked into the eyes of that young man… I dared to hope again.

Genre: Mostly Romance/Drama I think… But it also contains: Hurt/Comfort, tragedy, action, friendship and general. Wow that sounds awfully depressing when summed up O.O? Well I'm not going to lie to you, the beginning will be really sad, but stick with the story, it will brighten up ^^

I guess that wraps up all of the formalities ^^ Now… Please enjoy! :D

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8 years ago…

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Ukitake took a sip from his green tea, staring absentmindedly out of the window to his right. Mild morning sunrays penetrated the glass, bathing the room in a pleasant light. Ukitake narrowed his eyes. It was an unusually beautiful day of spring, but no one would celebrate it. He was about to close the curtains so he could escape the mockingly good weather, when someone knocked on his door and he decided to wait.

"Enter."

Kuchiki Rukia carefully slipped through the doorway, carrying a large stack of papers in her arms.

"Today's paperwork Ukitake Soutaichou." She said, placing the pile on his desk before eyeing a single folder in her right hand, her expression changing into a sad and melancholic one.

Ukitake felt his own facial features mirror Rukia's. He knew what he would find inside it, he had received one on every tenth of April for 5 years without fail. Rukia handed him the folder as if it was as fragile as glass, and Ukitake hesitated for a fraction of a second before pulling out the content. It was the same as always. Every document and form was thoroughly and flawlessly filled out, and an unnecessary amount of effort was evident in the near perfect handwriting in every report.

"She is still at it…" Rukia said quietly, her gaze locked on the floor.

Ukitake placed the papers in front of him and rested his face in his hands. It was a well known fact that Matsumoto Rangiku loathed paperwork and usually made a quick job of it before heading to the nearest bar. At least that was how she dealt with it 364 days a year. But on April tenth she always handed in perfect work.

Rukia smiled softly. "Remember how he always scolded her for not doing her job, but did half of her share anyway..?"

Ukitake chuckled at the memories coming to his mind. "She could get away with a lot, but… They were an excellent team nevertheless."

"I think he would have been proud of her improvement. She ran the division flawlessly by herself for the first three years… Right until Takayashi-Taichou was put in charge of it 5 years ago and she began doing this… I wonder why she does it," Rukia mumbled picking up the documents to have another look.

"… She is doing it in honor of _his_ memory, she refuses to let go…" Ukitake said, taking another sip of his tea.

Rukia nodded and bit her lip. "I wonder if she'll ever be herself again, it's been 8 years now…" She said hesitantly after a moment of uncomfortable silence.

Ukitake looked up to meet the eyes of his newly appointed Vice-captain. "I doubt it Kuchiki, I'm starting to think we've lost her for good too."

"D-Don't say that Ukitake-Taichou! Maybe we could… Maybe she'll…" Rukia trailed off for a moment before she suddenly slammed her hand on Ukitake's desk, making him jump from surprise.

"Let her stay in the world of the living for some time off! She always loved being there and maybe Inoue can get through to her…"

"You know she would never agree to leave the division in the hands of Takayashi-Taichou."

"Then make it an order! You're the Soutaichou, if you tell her to go; she has to go no matter what!"

Ukitake closed his eyes and grimaced, he wasn't fond of ordering people to do anything against their will, but sometimes he had to. That was the downside of being Captain-commander.

"It's for her own good Ukitake-Taichou…"

He sighed and sent his Vice-captain a weak smile. "I'll grant the permit required. As things are now, anything is worth a try."

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Matsumoto sat by her desk, using her index finger to draw invisible circles on its smooth, polished surface. She had finished early this time, a day's paperwork completed so perfectly _her _Taichou could be proud. She could hear the scribbling of a pen to her right. She grinded her teeth and narrowed her eyes. The sound of the pen wasn't right. The scribbling was too rough, the motions too big and the pace too slow.

She felt her fingernails dig into her palms when she fisted her hands. _That_ man was sitting in _her_ Captain's chair, by _her _Captain's desk, using _her_ Captain's pen and running _her_ Captain's division. Sure officially he was the Captain of tenth division, but he was not _her_ Captain.

"If you are finished with your work Rangiku, leave, I'm sick of your attitude."

Matsumoto stood up slowly and left the room without even sparing the man behind _her _Captain's desk a single glance. Fuming with contained anger, she went directly for the nearest bar, the second she exited the squad compound. _My attitude makes him sick? What a joke! _Matsumoto shook her head; she really despised that man. He was a cruel and unpleasant person with an array of issues, lack of reliability, empathy and respect for his subordinates being three of the more dominant and less appealing ones.

His policy, that a Captain shouldn't be bothered to move his lazy Captain-ass from his fancy Captain-chair to assist exposable Captain-underlings whenever they needed his indispensable Captain-help, was the reason that only a handful of the subordinates, who had served under the previous Captain, were still alive.

The man Takayashi Moryu didn't care about anything but the power his rank provided him, and Matsumoto would never accept a Captain who didn't care about his squad-members at all.

She stopped dead in her tracks and slammed her fist against the wall beside her, biting her lip and shutting her eyes tightly to avoid spilling any tears. The only reason she was still in tenth division was because _her_ Captain had entrusted it to her knowing he only had a few minutes left to live. Even when he knew he would die, his thoughts were with her, his squad and everyone else he saved that day. She let her forehead rest against the wall, the warm treacherous tears now streaming down her face. Captains like Soifon and Kurotsuchi didn't care much for their subordinates either, so Takayashi wasn't really that unusual… He was just not Hitsugaya Toshiro.

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"Hello Taichou… It's the tenth of April again, so I brought you some flowers," Matsumoto said quietly, placing a bouquet of white daffodils in front of the headstone before sitting down and tracing the stone inscription with her fingertips.

No matter how often she came to his grave, she would never get used to seeing that name. She smiled softly… His name had always been special; it was reserved for the people, who meant most to him. After the Winter War had been concluded, Matsumoto had been allowed to call him by his name a few times without getting scolded too much. At least she had gotten away with it more often than Ichigo. _Names…_ He had called her by her first name the he died.

She closed her eyes and sighed, images and memories of their last hours spent together presenting themselves to her.

"8 years today Taichou… I come here every year to remember… And every time I want to ask you the same question. Taichou… Did you really die on that day 8 years ago..?"

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So… Just what did happen 8 years ago? Read next chapter and find out :P This was pretty depressing, but I hope it caught some interest…^^ Please review and tell me what you think XD… It might take a short while before I update… Exams… T^T


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